Often I talk about the roller coaster of life. The first time I remember the use of this phrase is when I was receiving counseling from a minister. A series of miscarriages had me feeling quite low. I felt such failure. But, my minister likened the successes and failures we experience in life to a roller coaster. In short, one had to overcome one’s failures in order to enjoy one’s successes. He also helped me realize we can’t control all of nature nor all of life’s events.

Ups and downs naturally occur in life. It takes skill to navigate through the peaks and valleys. And in my case it always helps (and helped) to have someone to talk things through. Over the years I have been blessed with good clergy and caring academic counselors. Luckiest of all I married my best friend.

Albertus Magnus College

Perhaps the best advice for dealing with adversity came from my college adviser. Sister Charles Marie was the head of the Business and Economics department when I attended Albertus Magnus College. I was struggling with many personal issues my senior year. Of course these issues affected my studies.  Her advice included working hard in order to keep my mind busy and to concentrate on positives. She also suggested I could cope with the problems by breaking tasks into smaller amounts. In other words not to bite off more than I could chew.

She also talked about work-life balance before it ever became a thing. (I earned my degree a long, long time ago.) But she wasn’t the only person at Albertus Magnus College that offered support. My cross country coach was a tremendous backer even though she had her own personal problems to deal with. She was an early proponent of exercise being great for matters of the mind as well as the body.

Their advice worked. I earned my degree. Life continued.

Passage of Time

Time acts as a regulator for feelings of failure. Things I failed to accomplish as a youth seem inconsequential now that I have been seasoned by the passage of time. Long ago I realized the importance of persistence. It is impossible (at least I believe) to go through life without failure. However, success can be achieved after failure. This is something to keep in mind if you are unfortunate enough to be a member of the trophy generation.

I believe one should keep trying to improve. This may mean more education or more patience. It definitely means forgiving others as well as yourself. Until I leave this earth, or as long as I am mentally able, I plan to keep trying, keep improving and keep making amends for my transgressions. Even when my memory differs, I need to understand the importance of perception. Yes I admit I do care what others think. Furthermore, I believe we need more caring in this world. Consideration of others is lacking at this point in time.

Successes and Failures

While my failures are many and I know they will continue, my successes are not inconsequential. At one time I was told the odds were against my carrying any child to term. Persistence allows me to delight in the four wonderful adults all spawned from my womb.

Relationships are difficult. So is raising a child. Indeed life itself provides endless adversity. Throw in a special needs child, an early death, a divorce or a job loss and the doors open to failures large and small. The challenges of life are diverse and immense. But a person needs to look at successes and failures from a macro point of view.

The absolute key to success is Not the absence of failures but the willingness to face failures and to make corrections in an effort to overcome those failures. Most importantly, acknowledging the fact failure sometimes can’t be remedied, but life does go on. And can be even be better. We just need to keep trying.