ECONOGAL

Faith Friends and Family. Anyone over a certain age knows that life is full of challenges. Many different kinds of challenges. And those difficulties are met with varying success. I have discussed successes and failures before. But today, I am expressing my belief that the hardships we face as we travel through life are best met when enveloped with faith and surrounded by friends and family.

The definitions of faith are straightforward. The secular definition is: a complete trust in something. Many examples come to mind. A toddler’s trust in his parents. A patient’s trust in a doctor. Perhaps a lack of faith could explain a reluctance to get vaccinated against Covid-19.

The religious based definition of faith denotes a strong belief in God or another deity as well as the principles of a specified religion. This type of faith needs no proof. There are numerous religions on this planet of ours. Unfortunately some conflict greatly with others.

On a personal level, my faith is a combination of belief in both Christianity and science. I know I am not the only person that can accept seemingly conflicting dogma. Truly, there are things that cannot be explained by science. Miracles happen.

But, a belief in science is critical. A few years ago, I was not remembering short term things, like where I put my car keys. Since I had a family member with dementia, this was quite concerning. So I began researching brain health.

The science is a bit more complicated than use it or lose it. Nonetheless, studies indicated new brain connections form from new experiences and processes. Econogal is one. My new hobbies including the Big Garden, another. Finally, the not so simple concept of mindfulness is also helping with my short term memory.

I have a difficult time discussing my religious ideas. Beliefs present on Earth run the gamut from atheist to the most devout. For those believing in a deity, prayers are a component of that belief. However, not everyone prays the same.

In my greatest times of crisis, my prayers are quite simple. I ask for help in accepting God’s Will. Twice I have had children near death. On both occasions, I prayed for the ability to accept whatever the future held. Did I want them to live? Of course! Did I seek the best medical help available? You bet I did! But life is finite for all of us.

As a child, I was a voracious reader. The fables of Aesop and of the Brothers Grimm were favorites. Perhaps these influences explain my inability to pray for specific outcomes for myself. Stories such as The Invisible Life of Addie Larue (click here for review) reinforce this belief. Yet, I have no trouble in praying for the healing of others. Both body and soul. And I always pray for the acceptance of what life holds for each.

The second component of Faith, Friends and Family centers on friendship. Relationships are complex. It is hard to differentiate between friends and acquaintances. Often we spend much more time with the latter. Yet, friendships are among the most important bonds available to us.

I can still remember the name of one of my first playmates even though I never saw him after the age of four. Perhaps the fact our parents exchanged Christmas cards for many years reinforced the memory. But I also remember a schoolmate from kindergarten, one not seen since we moved in second grade. This was not the child of a parental friend. Both must have impacted my life for the memories to hold.

Thus, I can understand the concern created by the pandemic forced isolation. Only children may face the biggest impact. Even the fact that parents were also isolated at home may not have helped.

Childhood friends may not stay friends as adults. But I think the interaction is key to developing relationships later in life.

Recently, an evening was shared with college friends not seen in almost ten years. We picked up right where we left off. The bonds formed long ago stay strong even through absence. Conversation flowed, memories shared and much catching up was done. Hopefully, the next gap in time will not be so long.

For many, social media bridges this gap. My problem with these online entities is the inability to share privately. As well as the time delay. There is much to be said for being in the present. Another problem I have with social media is the lack of honesty. Seldom is life presented with all the warts.

Creating new shared experiences is key to maintaining friendships. It is also key to defining generations. I have been alive for many decades. But the last twenty years contain the most shared experiences. From 9/11 to the Covid-19 pandemic, the pages of the history books will be full.

Many people say they married their best friend. I can relate to that. Anyone married for a length of time understands the work that goes into a marriage. And the many stages of a life together. Crisis can strengthen a relationship or tear it apart… I am one of the fortunate ones.

Last but certainly not least in the concept of Faith, Friends and Family is family. A strict definition confines family to blood relations created through marriage and births. I am sure many would disagree. Blended families are an integral part of society. Adoptees and foster families have replaced orphanages. Family units are a key part of the culture I live in.

It is quite difficult to put into words just how important family is to me. My immediate family is quite small. However my spouse was the youngest of five. Farm families are decreasing in size but still much bigger than those of most city dwellers.

Covid-19 and 2020 marked the first year of just two of us for the important holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas. The meals were low key. Even though the traditional festivities were gone, the days were meaningful.

Many of my family will gather for a celebration of life this summer. I am looking forward to seeing all of my offspring, my Dad, and many of my cousins. We will honor my Mom’s life in a way that she would approve. Finally having some closure will be good.

The other big family event of the year will be a Labor Day weekend wedding. The bride and groom picked this date so attendees could have a chance of vaccination prior to the ceremony. They are looking forward to a wedding and reception sans masks. We will attend with great joy.

Family gatherings need to be filled with joy and happiness, not stress. Communication is key to making this happen. Another secret to a pleasant gathering is pitching in without asking. My best tip is to use empathy. It is true that until you walk a mile in someone’s shoes, it is difficult to understand where they are coming from. If someone is obviously having a difficult time be part of the solution.

Each family has its own idiosyncrasies. As any parent can tell you, each child is unique. The differing personalities are the beginning. But it is the individual life experiences which really affect family dynamics. Siblings may share some things, but not everything.

One of my goals is to be able to agree to disagree within the immediate family. This task can be daunting, especially in an election year. And I will admit, agreement on a topic does make life easier. But the agreement should be independent, not coerced.

The ability to communicate differences is key, in my opinion, to keeping function in family relations. This takes work. But the reward is great. None of us will live forever. It is important to keep bridges strong and to always, always have a gate in the wall.

Life is short. Faith, Friends and Family make life noteworthy. Make time for all.