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October 2023 Wrap-Up

Posted on by Econogal

Halloween

A platter shaped like a witch's hat full of candy for Trick or Treaters.
Ready for the Trick or Treaters.

It is Halloween once again which means it is time for the October 2023 Wrap-Up. From a personal standpoint it has been yet another tough month. I have talked before of the feeling of having a shoe drop. Well, shoes are dropping all over the place. So many that my closet must be getting empty.

I realize everyone has time periods of difficulty. 2023 is mine. Hopefully, I will become a stronger person. Furthermore, I finally understand the anticipation of ushering in a New Year. I sure hope 2024 will bring more joy and less sadness, frustration and angst.

A Troubled Soul, A Troubled World

Other families and individuals are also facing grief this year. Most recent among the Hollywood set was actor/author Matthew Perry. Please click here to read my review of his incredibly honest autobiography, Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing. Condolences to all that knew and loved him.

And as difficult as my own saga has been this year, it has unwound in a nation that has strife but is not under attack from foreign invaders. Unrest continues in Ukraine and now in the Middle East. May peace on earth become a reality versus a holiday saying.

Those of us that have seen many trips around the sun understand no one wins in a war. There are only survivors. Unfortunately, casualties often include innocent children. What a waste of the future.

October 2023

Late fall ushers in cooler weather and final harvests for those of us in the north. This past weekend saw snow in the mountain west and cold rains elsewhere. Crisp air is warmed by afternoon sunrays only to bite once the sun retreats and the moon takes over. Animals know the seasons are changing. Around these parts, tarantulas are on the move, geese are flying south and squirrels are gathering acorns from my oak tree.

Kids are learning “new” Halloween ideas in October 2023 such as the Switch Witch. Apparently, kids can keep five pieces of candy and leave the rest on the front porch before going to bed and by morning the Switch Witch will have switched out the candy for a toy. I just learned of this from my first trick or treater. Perhaps a new kids’ book read in preschool, certainly a new tale for me.

Staying Positive in October 2023

In challenging times, it is difficult to stay positive. But a smile and a good attitude will aid in keeping the negatives of stressful times at bay. Seeking help from family and friends as well as professionals as needed is my plan. The blood pressure medicine is working and that is a blessing of modern science.

Thanks to all the loyal readers out there. The posts have been sporadic but overall readership has remained stable. Also, thanks to all who have reached out via email and phone. Positive vibes are so important!

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing Book Review

Posted on by Econogal

Matthew Perry

I found Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing depressing, jaded, and one of the most powerful memoirs I have read written by an addict. (For a comparison click here.) Perhaps a paradox, but nevertheless true. But some background is needed on my perspective. I never saw the series Friends during its’ initial run. Not a single episode.

The show debuted in the fall of 1994. I had lost two immediate family members in just six months, had three young kids and was teaching twelve credits at a local community college. Television was not part of my vocabulary.

By the time the series ended in 2004, I had an additional child and the two oldest were in high school. My relaxation came in the written form while soaking in a tub full of bubble bath. But, during the isolation of Covid-19, I began to watch re-runs and the cast of Friends was incredible. Including Matthew Perry.

Big Terrible Thing

However, I have not seen enough episodes to pick up on his constant battle with addiction. So, the memoir was disturbing and a bit depressing. The author at times came off as jaded. But his ending message is powerful. Addiction has destroyed his body. He is fortunate more relationships were not ruined.

Names are dropped, but I would not classify Perry as a name dropper. On occasion he with holds an identity. But the message is still the same. His ongoing battle with addiction has interfered with his happiness. And with most long-term female relationships. It was troubling.

The big terrible thing in my opinion is how close to the edge his life will always be. I feel for anyone faced with this disease. And I am firmly in the camp that believes it is a disease.

Concluding Thoughts

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing is a difficult read. A cursory look reflects an artificial comic. One gets the feeling that for most of his life Perry was an “all about me” person. The tragedy lies in the hidden demons. And at some point, blame needs to fall within. The past is the past. Perry alludes to this. Even acknowledges how his parents always stuck by him- even though he blames his upbringing for his insecurities.

The book is a powerful look at dealing with the demons within. It is written to help those who struggle. And to offer an explanation to those who are on the outside looking in. I don’t know if it will help with the former, but it succeeds with the latter. Unfortunately, addiction cannot be solved by outsiders. Only the individual afflicted can beat the curse. It is my sincere hope Mr. Perry, and all other addicts can overcome their internal enslavement.

Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing book cover featuring head shot of Matthew Perry.